Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
