Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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