just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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