I feel like I'm in dance class right now
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
