how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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