absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
