Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
