Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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