So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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