ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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