how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
