The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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