so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
