Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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