Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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