I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
