we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm experimenting with sincerity
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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