He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
