Porn is love you can see.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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