i dont even know how to be here
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
