3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
my poor anus
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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