I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
