She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
