I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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