I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize