I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
