This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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