Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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