Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
