Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
