It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Who put my cat in the fridge?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
