Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
