NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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