Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
