Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Randomize
