4 words: hood of his car
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
