I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
