you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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