He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
NoShamevember. You game?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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