He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
