who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
