Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize