I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
