In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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