ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
you never un-have a 4some
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
