omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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