We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i came on her dog
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize