We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
