my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
