Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
