How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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